


her father's eyes

by mayfriend



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Demonic Possession, Emotional Manipulation, Episode Tag, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, POV Rachel, Rachel Is Having The Worst Week, Rachel Roth Deserves Nice Things, Spoilers for Titans S1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 06:59:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19807099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayfriend/pseuds/mayfriend
Summary: Rachel Roth is born a destroyer of worlds, and so, she destroys her own.She’s stupid, so stupid, so blockheaded and foolhardy and she almost gets them all killed just because she didn't listen to her friends, her family; she leads them to torture and death, and as a consolation prize gets her mother, who she can’t quite think of as her mother. Gets Angela. Angela, with her washed out hair and pale skin and blue eyes and quivering chin, who looks even less like her than Melissa did.The next time she looks in the mirror, she knows the truth. She has her father’s face, and she always will.





	her father's eyes

**Author's Note:**

> If you can watch Titans (2018) without wanting to cry for Rachel Roth at least once, you may be a robot

Nobody ever tells her she has her father’s looks. She assumes as much - whilst her mother is dark haired, like her, and dark eyed, they have no features in common. She never asks her mother about her Dad, after the first couple of times ended in tears and long, stretched silences, and so she never knows for sure.

When Mom- _Melissa,_ dies, she thinks she never will. 

A few days later, a small eternity later, Dick and Kory sit her down and tell her that Adamson claims that her real mother is alive, and she actually feels her vision narrowing until that one goal is all she can see. Her mother, her mother. Her mother, trapped in an asylum, her mother, who might still look like her, who might still be good enough to wash out whatever stain is inked deep in her blood. She might yet have a reflection that she doesn’t cringe away from. 

She’s stupid, so stupid, so blockheaded and foolhardy and she almost gets them all killed, her friends, her family; she leads them into a trap, into torture and death, and as a consolation prize gets her mother, who she can’t quite think of as her mother. Gets Angela. Angela, with her washed out hair and pale skin and blue eyes and quivering chin, who looks even less like her than Melissa did.

The next time she looks in the mirror, she knows the truth. She has her father’s face, and she always will. 

She doesn’t know how to ask Angela about it, if she even should, because her mother spent years in a mental institution run by sociopaths, her mother cries and says _I never should’ve given you up_ and Rachel thinks it truly would be a monstrous act to make her relive any of that pain, any of that grief. 

(She has committed so many monstrous acts. So many. She scrambled Kory’s brain, she let Adamson bleed out when she could’ve-should’ve saved him, Dawn only ever tried to help her and almost died for her trouble, took Gar from the people who accepted him and protected him because she was selfish and lonely, she threw back Dick’s every attempt to protect her in his face until he left her, even though he promised, even though he _PROMISED-)_

Gar chokes on the floor, covered in blood and gore, and Rachel can feel the life leaving him under her hands. There’s no time, no time to wait for an ambulance or for the sheriff to get back from town or for anything but the darkness. Gar was the first friend she ever had, after a childhood of being the strange girl, the dangerous one, of never being allowed to go on sleepovers or to invite anyone round her house for dinner. Gar protected her, and supported her, and he’s been caged and tortured because of it, he’s become a killer because of it, because of her, and he _can’t_ die, not now, not now-

“Your father is stronger than you,” Angela says, and Rachel feels like crying, because everybody is stronger than her. She feels like a house of cards, constantly tumbling down. 

So she makes the bridge. She pulls her father into the world, because she’s young and she’s desperate and she’s so, so alone, and she can’t lose anymore family, not after Melissa, not after Kory. 

Gar breathes, the blood covering his face disappearing under Trigon's hands, and Rachel lets herself think, for a moment - one shining, shivering moment - that it _might_ just be okay. 

Then she sees Dick, standing in the doorway, with her father’s eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm the exact opposite of happy about the cliffhanger at the end of the season, so I may be working off some Feelings™ through fic in the coming days. Thank you for your understanding in advance.
> 
> Find me on tumblr at [mayfriend](http://mayfriend.tumblr.com/)


End file.
